“You can have your story or your business, but you can’t have both!”
As a businesswoman and resilience coach I come across a lot of other entrepreneurs – through serving them through my business or through networking – who use those words (or some version of them). I’ve noticed that, in every interaction, they lead with a story that somehow limits their ability to be wildly successful.
The story usually includes something like, “I can’t because I’m not business savvy,” or “I’m not organized enough to…” or “I’m not creative enough to…”
So, I began to explore the “I can’t” syndrome that takes over like an elephant in the room.
We’ve all experienced naysayers in our lives, those who are quick to tell us how something can’t be done and why. They love to outline the obstacles and how difficult it is to overcome them. The truth is that we receive these unlawful stories from loved ones or strangers, and they are overlaying their own personal struggles, obstacles, assumptions and limiting beliefs on us.
Now let me be clear: there are different types of stories and some serve us well while others don’t. I want to bring focus to the stories that have been transferred onto your psyche without your permission (such as those I mentioned previously). The truth is that letting go of old stories that no longer serve us doesn’t mean they didn’t happen or that the plan is to negate them; it’s about acknowledging and validating them while recognizing that they’re not integral to us or our business.
Let me give you an example. For decades my story was that I was a terrible writer and that no one would ever care what I had to express through my writing. If you can believe it, it was a teacher who once told me I wasn’t good enough to write. My young and permeable mind held on to that belief for so long that it became a part of me. I can vividly remember, with every stroke of a pen or click of my keyboard, how I hesitated.
And let’s be real; sometimes I still do.
Until…I begin to question!
I questioned how this story of being a terrible writer was affecting my ability to be a confident, effective and resilient entrepreneur. I knew that if I didn’t rewrite this story, it would limit my ability to be seen and heard, and most limiting of all, able to help others who currently need my support and knowledge.I had to come to terms with the fact that putting myself out there was A LOT less scary than to always wonder, “What if?”
Through this discovery process, I realized I had many unwanted narratives in my head that didn’t belong to me and no longer served me.
I realized this story about how I wasn’t really a writer was the biggest and most detrimental to my growing business. I had to find a way to overcome this fear and finally put it to rest once and for all.
So, I decided to write a book…
Yeah, go big or go HOME, I say!
As I write my book, The Resilience Project: The Art of Pursuit, I’m learning so much about myself and what I’m willing to do to get out of my own way. It hasn’t been an easy process, really. Doubt oftentimes seeps back into my head to insist that I’m in way over my head and that I should just “give up” already.
And sometimes, I do!
I give up for a day, sometimes two, but I pick up right where I left off. It takes practice and perseverance to go back and do what’s uncomfortable, but I can tell you it gets easier with each passing day. Plus, I know it will take twice as long to overcome this if I go at it alone; so, yes, I asked for help from an amazing writing coach who’s been a champion for me, my book and my business. She’s helped me improve how I see myself as a writer.
Now, to my deepest core I know I’m a writer, an influencer, and I deserve to share my work with love and courage. This courage has opened doors that once upon a time I could only dream of. I can’t even begin to tell you how empowering and capable I often feel. Today, I’m proud to call myself an author-in-progress passionately writing so other women can learn to be resilient in their life and business. Letting go of this “you’re not a writer” story has set the stage for me to live what was once nothing but a dream! The beauty of challenging yourself is that it gives you more and more confidence to chip away at even more that no longer serves you.
Because of this, I successfully run a coaching practice and a consulting firm, all from a beat-up MacBook Air. I’m continuously growing my business, having added two team members in less than a year while raising two busy little humans who are 2 and 1. All of this has come full circle because I let go of a single story that doesn’t align with my vision.
I invite you to look within and ask yourself what story you are currently replaying in your head. How is it serving you? And is it helping you with your business?
There’s only one way, my sweet friend, and that’s to go through the struggle. What you find on the other side is bound to surprise (and more than likely delight) you. Write about a story you’re currently manifesting and how it’s limiting your potential. Then, write an alternative and healing story to replace it.
Lastly, find a person who can support you through the process and know that I’m here to support you through it all.